Just Another Day
by EvaMarie219
Summary: Just another day in the life of Stephanie Plum. Shes naked and duct taped to a merrygoround, Morellis being shady, Rangers being greedy and a Southern Gentleman has come calling for her affections. Spoilers, FutureSMUT, slight druguse, adult themes
1. Chapter 1

THIS IS MY FIRST ATTEMPT, SO PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH ANY OF MY MISTAKES...Also, my punctuation didnt transfer, if you know how to fix this, itd be greatly appreciated.

DISCLAIMER: I OWN NONE OF THE CHARACTER, I ONLY WISH TO FIND MYSELF A RANGER ONE DAY.

"What the fuck is going on here? Manoso why are you squatting behind Steph, and Cupcake why are you naked?" Thats Joe Morelli, my on again off again sometimes live-in boyfriend. Morelli and I grew up together, we were destined from the womb sort of. When I was 6 he convinced me to play choo choo in a garage, 16 he took my virginity behind the counter of the bakery where I had been working, at 18 I ran him over with a Buick. He had broken his leg and I had gotten a lecture from my mother about scaring off suitors. I still believe to this day he faired better than I. Present day though hes gone through a stint in the Navy, become a Vice Cop and has cleaned up pretty good. Hes known as the Italian Stallion here in the Burg, the Stallion currently has his hand on his service revolver and was reaching under his shirt for his Glock. "I want you to back away from the Cupcake." Were currently in the on again stage and my Vic Secrets are sitting next to his Fruit of the Looms. I can see where hes upset, Im naked and Rangers package is near my lack of VSs "I say again back away from my goodies."

"Shit! Joe its not that bad. Hes trying to help me, Im naked and in publ... Wait WHAT! Your goodies, fine then you run off the donuts and Mickey Ds since its your body, arrogant prick ASSHO ..." I was lucky to be abruptly cut off by Ranger quietly chuckling. I was pissed and fuming. Im handcuffed and duct taped doggystyle completely naked to the local neighborhood merry-go-round. My skip had left me here after hed managed to taser me, with my own damn gun. I needed to remember to kick Ranger in his dick for reminding me to grab it. As if it couldnt get any worse the blue and whites were approaching fast, and its near sun up. My Mother will be making the sign of the cross plus dipping into the whiskey before she makes my dads' pancakes. WHY ME!

"Morelli when shes with me she has no Secrets, we dont worry about such things, theyre always forgotten about in the rush to get to know one another more personally anyway." WOW, there were a few double entendres there. I knew that, Morelli had no clue. I could almost see steam rising from Morellis' ears. YIPES.

See, Ranger was Batman. He was dark, mysterious, sexy as hell, and Cuban. He was smoke and everyone knows where theres smoke theres fire. He used to be my advisor of sorts. When I was new to the bounty hunter gig he was my mentor, he showed me how to hunt an FTA and how to shoot my gun; which same as ever is sitting in my cookie jar, on my counter in the kitchen of my easily broken into apartment. Ranger and I have stolen kisses in the alley by my cousin Vinnies Bail Bonds office, where I was currently employed and contemplating blowing up. Weve shared a night together where Ranger sent me back to Morelli, and a few other varied and random moments. Joe hates Ranger and vice versa. Im the woman between these two in more ways than one, like currently.

In a flash Morelli and Ranger had their Glocks trained on one another. Ranger was pointing his between Morellis eyes and Morelli had his gun pointed between Rangers legs.

"Will somebody please get me outta here, leave the pissing contest to later." I was cold, tired, and smelled like vomit. I didnt know whose vomit, one could only guess. I was hoping it was a nice school teacher who got wasted and upchucked here where I just so happened to be duct taped. Atleast if it were the teacher I wouldnt feel as grossed out as if to say it were some random fall down drunk that probably vomited to make himself smell better. GAG!

"Not until that bastard leaves Cupcake, why is he here anyway? Why didnt you call me? Why is he always your number 1?"Joe is not much of a whiner, this moment scared me a little.

"Hes the only one I have on my voice dial Joe, Im lucky I got to call anyone and Joe youre lucky he called you!" I had just gotten the phone the night before because my old one along with my purse, Macys card, and car had blown up due to another FTA that decided my life was to boring and opted to liven it up some. I got even more pissed at the thought of my lost Macys card. I need to purge myself of the male ego by going shoe shopping, I filed that thought away for later.

"Where the helld you have your phone anyway, youre naked. It may just be me, but theres only a handful of places to tuck it away, whered you put it? With that he spun the Merry-go-round full force turned tail and stomped away bitching about good for nothings' and a long string of profanities that would have made even the most hardassed man gawk.

I screamed bloody murder, which caused many a house light to come on and many a housewife to come out."OH SHIT! Ranger get me outta here, Ill do anything!"

"Ill hold you to that Babe, and if you dont stick to it yourself Ill tell Morelli I found you here with that ball gag in your mouth." I hissed, he continued. "I guess my dicks lucky that Joe didnt arrive two minutes sooner." I could almost make out a smile. I hissed again and used a good string of profanities myself. This time I know I heard Ranger laugh out loud.

"Ranger please hurry!" I was begging now, he was rushing but I was praying Id be in the Turbo before the sun was completely up. The blue and whites were doing a great job of keeping the now growing crowd back, but I was a legend of sorts in the Burg. If the crowd found out it was me sitting here, with my dignity flapping in the breeze I would make the news again, and I didnt want that. My naked white ass splayed across the front page was not as flattering as one might think. YIKES! With my wrist free I tried to help Ranger. "Cover me with your windbreaker. Im naked and people can see me now, hurry before they recognize who I am." I was near tears with frustration and irate thinking I might be cut off from my Moms' pineapple upside down cake for the rest of my life if she heard about this.

He was grinning his 200 watt smile now, "Only if you tell me about the phone, and how the hell you ended up here"

"Call Tank and have him drive the SUV up here next to us and its a deal."Ranger took out his phone and hit a button, after mumbling a few uncoherent words he turned to me and said, "Speak."A smile firmly in place.

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_**TWO DAYS AGO..**_

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"Fuck! Christ, Fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck, fucking fuckers! Dammit!" after letting out my line of explicits I looked towards Ranger to see his reaction. Passive, as always." Fuck" normally Im a little reluctant to tell Ranger about my major screw ups, but right now I was pure chicken shit. I told myself to breathe, finally I turned completely around to look at Ranger and let out the breathe."Its about the Mercedes!" He grimaced. I was wondering if it was to late for a last will and testament.

He gave me the car at breakfast, its just going on noon.

"Babe."

Im assuming this is him telling me to continue, "I may have lost it, along with Dungeon. Hes the FTA." Ranger had let me use the car on a whim which was purely out of character for Ranger. I assured him that the car would be fine, I really wanted to eat those words right about now. I explained to him last night that the Mercedes was more eye candy than anything else, it was just suppossed to draw Dungeon out of his house. The plan had been simple. Lula would drive the car down Keila st, where Dungeon lived shed park it right outside his house and walk into a girlfriends that lived next door. I lucked out with that one, so Lula had to be apart of it all. All the while Id be squatted down in the back seat and as soon as he opened the door and sat in Id pop up and taser him and BAM done. Hed been picked up on boosting a similar car, how easy would this be? An easy 5 grand to put towards a new car, my other had been stolen weeks prior on Stark picking up an FTA with Ranger. So I guilted him into letting me use his Mercedes, we had it all planned out. What could go wrong?

I take another breathe and hold it, hoping Ill black out and not have to explain. Whoosh, the air escapes my lungs. Dammit, it didnt work! I set my mouth in a line that my mom would be proud of and I continue to explain.

"So, it starts off as planned. Lula and I get to Keila st, we park and she gets out. So far so good, Im happy." Ranger settles himself against the desk and has yet to blink.

"Lula gets to her friends house and she knocks, and one of her old Johns' just so happens to walk out. Next thing I know they get into it. Lula starts screaming about him having a "flea dick" and the only thing he was able to satisfy was himself because "she doubted even the tightest ho could feel what he was packing". He then whips said flea dick out and all hell breaks loose.

Ranger nods, and I calm down. He hasnt started checking to see if his gun is loaded yet, so I assume Ill live to finish the story. Dammit, Rangers gun is always loaded, my hope hits the ground. Tank knocks and Ranger invites him to listen in. "Shit." Lulas not going to appreciate me making her look bad in front of Tank. She and he have a thing, and who am I to ruin a good thing.

See, Lula is well, shes a whole lot of woman, normally squeezed into next to nothing.. Shed been wearing a lime green spandex halter dress with a sequenced bodice and purple FMPs along with purple highlights in her very blond hair at breakfast this morning when we went to get Dungeon. As a big black woman in that outfit I say she was making a statement, I can maybe see where the John thought she was still in the business. In the past Lula was a Ho. She had been beaten and left for dead on my fire escape by Ramirez, a not so nice badass FTA, who thought beating women was fun and mutilating and humiliating them was like an orgasm in itself. She was supposed to be a reminder to me that I could end up the same way, apparently I mixed up the message somewhere because I still went after the asshole. Hed been taken down hard, and I doubt has forgotten about me. Lula had quit that life and had started working for Vinnie as a filing clerk and now assists me with take downs.

I continued "She was holding onto this mans tool and attempting to get into her purse, Im assuming to pull out her Glock to shoot off his member."

Tank let out a bark of laughter "Thats my girl." Ranger mightve blinked.

"She was dragging him around while he squealed in pain. The crowd was chanting a not so nice slogan of fleas and knees. I made a quick decision and had gotten out of the car to control the situation." OOPS! Ranger flinched. " Somewhere in the mayhem of me prying her hands off of him I heard an engine turn over."

"Fuck, Lula the car.' I said. We had tore ass up Keila after the Mercedes, her in her sequince and heels and me in my flannel and Doc Martens. We made it to the halfway point but he had already turned left onto Rt. 20 heading towards Stark st."'

"Please explain to me Babe, why you didnt call me." Tank was leaning forward listening intentlly not wanting to miss anything. Oh my God, I can picture him retelling this to the guys later, mental head slap, shit!

"I lost, I chose rock." The look on Tanks face was of pure awe. He was more than likely thinking I should have jumped out the window rather than tell Ranger that.

"What do you mean, 'you chose rock."He shifted, "What does that mean?" I forgot Batman was never a kid. "You know the game, 'Rock, Paper, Scissors." I preceded to explain the game to him. He gave me a look that said I should have jumped rather than told him that.

"So if Lula won, whod you call?" I shouldve jumped, I realized that now.

"Morelli." I sucked in breathe quicker than a drowing victim when rescued.

"Fuck." Id never heard Tank swear before, I then realized how big this was. I looked behind me to see whether or not the window option was still available.

"Dont think about it, Id meet you at the bottom just to throw your lil ass right back out it."Ranger then did the unthinkable, he smiled.

"Did I die, or are you really contemplating tossing me out? Why are you smiling?"I gripped the chair, I was not dressed right for suicide or murder, I wasnt even wearing sexy underwear.

"Shhh, Babe. "Im glad youre alive, Im not going to kill you, and Im smiling thinking about what Im going to do to the sonuvabitch that stole my car." With that he and Tank walked out the room and I checked to see if I had pissed my pants. Nope, still good and dry.


	2. Chapter 2

A FEW HOURS TO ERASE..

Later that day Ranger had arranged for a few of the Merry Men to track the signal of the Mercedes and assist me in the takedown. I was ecstatic. I was alive and Ranger hadnt riddled my body with bullets. He also had the guys doing my beck and call, under the condition they keep me alive. Maybe Batman has gone soft, I should ask Tank later if somethings up. Hed probably bought me a casket without informing me, and was just waiting until he had excuse enough to throw me in it. I felt bad because I kinda make the man bleed money. He had once told me that he wrote everything off that he had bought me as his Entertainment fund when he filed his taxes, I was beginning to wonder if caskets were covered under such heading?

I made my way to the office to meet up with Lula, I wanted to give her fair warning that I had already told Ranger about his car. The Merry Men were supposed to be there within a few minutes and if they picked on her, she should atleast be disarmed first.

Connie after making sure her last top coat of Revlons Fire Red had dried correctly, had given me a stack of new FTAs that she had divided between Ranger and I, "Fresh outta jail.. love that new felon smell."

Lula chimed in, "Yeah, they all come with a guaranteed flight or fight."

I love Connie, I respect her. Shes the Betty Boop of the Burg complete with the Mafia uncles and a gun pocket in her purse. She always had a weapon on her and considering most of her outfits were skintight in more than one place you only had to wonder where. She was tough as nails, kinda. A few years back wed kidnapped a guy and tried to beat some information out of him, it lead to a nail file being used and I believe some hair pulling or pinching. Weve both since blocked that memory, Ranger discovered us and it embarassed us enough to forget permantly.

Tank and Hal made their way into the office rather quickly leaving the car parked out front idling. "Hey, our guys in the area Bombshell. If you hurry we can catch him and then well go get some Pinos." I figured they were trying to keep me happy, or buying me my last meal if there was a scratch on the car.

"Hey guys, Ranger just pulled up in the Cedes." We all looked up to see Vinnie walking out of his office. Then as collective realization dawned upon all of us we swung in unison to the front window, just in time to see the Mercedes and the SUV go up in flames. BANG! The blast threw us girls along with Vinnie on our asses, the front window shattered and The Merry Men, were off like a shot.

"Shit"

"Fuck"

"Damn"

"Sonuvabitch, Im never coming out my fucking office ever the fuck again. Connie get the goddamn glass people on the phone and get me the fucking number to the aquarium" Slam, the door cutting Vinnie off from the rest of the world had been closed. "I feel like fish today"

We all shuddered at the mention of the aquarium. Yikes! Vinnie has a thing with animals, theres been a rumor about him and his duck for a very long time.Then there was that Halloween incident and the black cat. Ewww.

"I may have just thrown up in my mouth" Lula covered her mouth again as she felt another wave of nausea pass over her.

The chimes on the front door brought us out of thought and facing a very pissed Tank and an equally enraged Hal. Morelli was dead on their heels and staring straight at me, not as equally pissed, but not very happy.

"Cupcake, I think this belongs to you." he handed me the charred strap to my Chanel purse.

"I forgot that was in there. That was Chanel and ahhh geeez, my Macys card." I slumped against the wall and slid down onto little bits of glass and debris.

"Are you okay?" he looked generally concern, I couldnt control it and a flood of tears started."Ah Cupcake." He picked me up and waited for my tears to slow. "You wanna talk about it." I sniffed and shook my head.

"NO, I want a bag of Boston cremes and fries from Mickey Ds and then I want to shoot Dungeons toes off one by one."

"Babe, we both know your aim isnt the best, youd be lucky to hit his foot. Youd probably shoot off your toes first, and I wouldnt want that, I like your toes. Theyre one of those "tingly" spots you love so much" I looked directly over Morellis' shoulder into the molten chocolate eyes of Ranger. By the look on Joes' face he hadnt realized Ranger was there either."Besides, youre a better target than shooter."

"Manoso, Fuck you." Joe grabbed my shoulders and then kissed me full on the mouth, tongue and all. "Bye Cupcake. Ill meet you for dinner tonight, I have something to give you." He turned my face to look him in the eyes, I knew that look. Sex. "I know youll love it."

"You cant always buy her off with a meatball sub, shell be full someday." Ranger never let his eyes leave Morelli as Joe walked out the front door checking his service revolver for bullets.

"He will shoot you someday, you know this right? Its Superman not Batman that is bullet proof."

He held my eyes as he said, " If he was that good a shot, youd have kids by now. That reminds me, you and I need to go shooting sometime very soon."

I blushed and flushed and got warm in every place that made me forget about Morelli. "You said it yourself, I make a good target."

"Hate to break up the party yall, but Steph can you give me a ride home? There are cops all over my ride and you know the cops give me the runs."

I snapped back to reality hating to take my eyes off of Rangers lips, I was really getting used to the idea of Batman and Wonder Women getting it on. "I parked Big Blue out back, give me a few minutes."

"Well need more than that." Ranger whispered in my ear. "Wait here." I closed my eyes thinking of all the delicious things Ranger could be getting or doing right now.

"Babe" I opened my eyes to an FTA file and a cell phone. This wasnt exactly what Id been thinking of.

"What the hell?" Ranger chuckled, he saw the obvious disappointment on my face.

"You are again working for Rangeman, this is one of my FTAs and this is your new Rangeman employee cell. Speed dial one thru three are my phone, Tank and this office. You can program anything else you want."

"Why am I working for Rangeman?"

"Babe, how the hell else are you gonna work off my car? I mean I can think of a few ways, but I know Morelli will protest. Not that I give a fuck." He pulled me close as if to whisper in my ear, but where his hand was traveling was no secret.

"But Ranger, Ive done nothing but screw up lately. Why would you even think about putting me on your payroll? Have you gone nuts? Bombshell is more than a nickname, more like a warning." I sighed and he pressed me closer.

"Babe." He said it as if everything I just said had meant nothing, he held me closer and kissed the top of my ear. He caressed my back making soft circles rythmically until I physically calmed down.

"MMMMMM, ohhhhh" I hadnt realized I moaned outloud, but the way Ranger pushed me into the gun closet he had. I was cruched under his weight against the door in a second and was happy to be there. "Dont stop." His hands had found its way between my legs and was trying a variety of different combinations to get me to open up to him.

"Steph" Lula called thru the back door.

"Shit."Ranger stiffened, and not the way I had wanted."Next time, I wont stop. Ill take you where we stand, no matter whos watching." Kissing me one last time he unceremoniously pushed me out of the gun closest

"Christ" I ran my hands over my clothes smoothing out the wrinkles and gave Carl and Big Dog, my two favorite Blue and Whites a wave goodbye. Big Dog smiled, and Carl chuckled. "Coming Lula."

"I could had you coming, had we not been stopped." Ranger walked passed me and outside to talk to the remaining men on scene.

I walked outside and over to Big Blue. Fishing the keys out of my pocket and opening the door in one fluid motion trying not to make eye contact and the "I know that look" look from Lula.

"Girl, that look should come with after sex chocolate."

"What?"

"The way that man was just looking at you says more that dessert, it says Mine."

"Come on, lets get you home"

"Lets get you a cold shower and a new toy from the Pleasure Treasure"

Shit.

----------------------------------------------------

"Ah, Christ!" I made the sign of the cross after the look I had just received from my mother. After dropping Lula off I headed straight to my mothers house, shed either have pineapple upside down cake or a clean oven I could stick my head in. I had smartened up, today I was wearing sexy underwear.

"Stephanie dear if you had a normal job, you wouldnt need my cake everyday." HA, that is where she was wrong, even if I had a normal job I would still eat her cake everyday!

"Ma, Im fine. Im just trying to fill up because Im gonna be parked out front of a bar half the day." I heard my mother sigh dramatically. Apparently that was something she didnt want to hear "I wanna be there by two and stay until my guy leaves." James Irvin was by all means a schmuck, hed been picked up for talking dirty to a nurse and slapping her ass while she was stitching up his arm after a bar fight. She had called a security guard and then a fight ensued between the two of them. Both she and the guard had opted to press charges. "Kinda like a daytime stakeout Ma."

"A stakeout, can I come? Or is that code for an afternoon quickie with Mr.Ranger Danger." My Grandma Mazur had found her way into the kitchen and was heading for the fridge."I wonder if he wears a speedo or goes "Commando" Steph would you know?" She scavaged around for a bit, trying to find something I was assuming to snack on, although I had a feeling she was just stalling for time."Nah , youd have told me, Im not as uptight as your mom." My mother threw a wistful glance towards the cabinet where she kept the whiskey, then right back to her coffee cup. I pretended to be extremely interested in the ceiling. "If I was 20 years younger Id pull a Croc Hunter and wrestle my way into his pants for some Afternoon Delight of my own." With those last words and a new Coke, Grandma Mazur made her way back to the livingroom singing "Afternoon Delight"

Thats my Grandma, Grandma Mazur. Shes a hellcat. Her hobbies include but are not limited to; Wakes' and viewings, playing look-out at said wakes' so a co-conspirator can pry the lid off the casket because in her own defense, "We come all the way down here to pay our respects and get a last glance in, we should get the last glance. Besides, I wanna be able to ask for a specific person to due my wake make-up. What if its the greatest make-up job ever, and nobody ever sees it?!? Thats not good advertising then, they should advertise." She wants my job, she hits on my boyfreinds, and well Im not saying shed be any worse then me. Hell with my luck shed knock my job out the park. She already has a jump on me, she carries a bigger gun than I do, and shes shot more times than me also.

My mother asked me to check and make sure the front door and windows were locked, by the time Id made my way back into the kitchen she was giddy, glowing and handing me a bag full of food. This woman worked fast. We could hear my Grandmas singing grower louder as she was making her way back to the kitchen. "Make sure you and Joseph come to dinner Friday, Im trying his mother stuffed peppers recipe." I was then pushed out the backdoor with the shade pulled down in my face. Twice today I had been pushed out a door.

"Shit, I was supposed to have dinner tonight with Joe!" I could always put off the stakeout until one of the Merry Men were free. Since the SUV and Mercedes were torched Dungeon had become priority numero uno.Tanks favorite cd was in the truck and Dungeon was gonna donate his teeth to the Tooth Fairy to make reprieve. I smiled at the idea of Tank actually putting the teeth under his pillow.

I made my way to Rangeman to park Big Blue and pick up an SUV, plus I had to stock up on pepper spray and cuffs, due to the fact theyd been in my now torched purse. I knew from the file my guy normally leaves the bar around five, just so he can stumble into work around six. I still had three and a half hours before I got to meet up with Mr.Wonderful. I had called his boss to make sure he was scheduled for the night. I walked into Rangers office adamant about showing off all of my assests and newly purchased "Ranger-like" dogtags. I was clad in black on black cargo pants and cotton tee, I was even wearing Kevlar for show. I explained to him the plan of action, while showing him the pepper spray, handcuffs and recently issued Rangeman Glock. I planned on pulling alongside Irvin while he stumbled the several blocks to his job, and around the midway point Id offer him a ride and zap him in the neck, when he became distracted by the twenty dollar bill at his feet.

"I want one of the men to escort you, Im not sure I trust you with a real gun in such close quarters with this guy" Shows what Ranger knows, Im gonna have the gun tucked under the seat. I hate guns, and frankly real bullets scare the piss outta me. Twice today the two KnowitAlls in my life were wrong, this day had potential. I smiled.

"Ranger theres no need, this is a piece of cake." MMM, cake, I forgot about the bag in the car" Its a great plan, I know it doesnt deviate much from this mornings' plan but thats the beauty of it. Come on, a great plan can only fail once."

"Babe"

"What? Whats with the look?"

"You amaze me."

"Thanks I think"

"I cant believe you think its gonna work this time around Steph."

"It will, it has to." Wait, Steph?

"And if it doesnt" Ranger made his way around the desk and started playing with a stray curl. Damn rebellious curls.

"It will" Rangers warm fingers were making little circles against my neck, nice.

"Youre not ready." He leaned in and barely breathed the words into my ear.

"The hell Im not" I couldnt really remember what I wasnt, but I knew I was still adamant about it.

"Take Tank atleast, he has no leads on Dungeon yet" He pulled slighty away and the smell of Bulgari began to fill my lungs after I had reminded myself to breathe again. He kissed my neck, I melted against him.

My cell vibrated and it was a text from Lula, "Morelli stopped by." Shit. Im still with Morelli, I woke up and jumped back into the conversation after I took a minute to remember what wed been talking about. "I said no, I want to do this alone."

He pulled completely away, and then sighed outloud,"You have a slot open on your utility belt, dont forget your taser"

Im assuming that was a dismissal. I think I just won. I was feeling happy, so I kissed him with so much force and passion I needed a donut afterward. Id won, the man deserved to have a little bit of his pride given back to him.

For once Ranger was speechless and not just quiet. I was whistling dixie.

When leaving the garage I saw Tank in the SUV behind me. I stopped whistling, lost again, dammit. Does anyone ever win against that man?

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Its 4:30 and my ass is numb Im restless and I have nothing left to eat. I cant believe I have to sit here another 1/2 hour or so, "Geez." My cell phone chirped and the readout said Batman.

"Yo"

"Yo yourself, my ass is numb"

"Babe, although Id love to discuss your ass, I have something for you." Like what, a bullet to put myself out of my misery, I thought.

"You lied to me." My blood was kinda boiling, I was pissed off, cramped in a tight space and had no one to talk to.

"I asked you if you wanted to take Tank, that never meant that I wasnt going to send him"

"What information would that be?" Tank was still parked two cars back, and seemed just peachy, I had the urge to shoot him in the foot, maybe then he wouldnt seem so content.

"Theres a bag of Boston Cremes under the back seat for you, I had Hal put them in the car while you went for your taser. Proud of you Babe, for being so patient."

I might have moaned outloud." You cant buy me off with donuts, Ill still be mad at you."

"Dont get cream on my seat Babe, Ill leave you to decide which type of cream Im implying." He hung up, and I wondered whether or not that was a partial goodbye. He said "Ill leave you" which is forewarning of the disconnect, I think.

I scrambled over the console into the backseat and hit the floor, hard. I knocked the air outta me, but I found the prize.

I jumped back up front and had stuffed half a donut in my mouth when I decided I was just bored enough to figure out all the do-hickeys on my phone. I hit a button on top and it brought up SpeedDial 1, and asked me to state the name.

"WhA da helm?" The phone repeated back to me, "whA da helm," and asked if that was correct. I punched the number 2 for no, and then repeated "WHAINJHER." The phone started talking again, but I became distracted when Irvin fell out of the front door of Curtain Call Bar.

I turned the engine over after he reached the end of the block. The phone said "Name saved," and repeated "WHAINJER" back to me, "Shit, Ill have to change that." I crept up on Irvin a few blocks later and ended up sitting at a red light.

A yellow VW Bug pulled up alongside of me and the driver was rocking out to The Fray, I looked over at him and my heart hit my throat. Dungeon was now doing air keyboard during a solo moment. I swallowed the rest of my third donut and and punched Tanks number into my cell.

"Sup?"

"The driver of the yellow VW sitting next to me is Dungeon."

"Got it, you need to abort your mission Bombshell."

"Not on your life," the light turned green and Dungeon turned right."Make a decision"

"Im calling Ranger, you be careful."

"Dont pull too many teeth, the judge still needs to understand him later." I hit the disconnect and followed after Irvin once again.


	3. Chapter 3

AS ALWAYS Im simply using JEs characters for my own amusement, I own some of them but none in which Id care to keep. Anybody up for a few laughs?

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So far I hadnt seen anything strangely out of character from Irvin. He made a few passes at some of the women that had been unlucky enough to cross his path. He tripped and stumbled over invisable matter and had made his way into the alley twice to wrench his guts out. Yup, so far so drunk.

I dialed Morelli

"Morelli."

Hey, its Steph. Gotta sec?"

"Yeah, whats up?"

"I just wanted to say...uh... Rex really misses all of your pizza crusts." So I was to scared to say I cared, I wasnt that type of girl and honestly I really didnt know how I felt.

"Bob misses eating your socks also." See, Morelli sucked at this also. "About tonight tho Cupcake, I gotta tell ya..."There was some background noise and then a womans voice, "Joe, whos that youre on the phone with?" To young to be his grandma, mother, or sister. Shit. "I still need you to drive me to Macys, I dont have an outfit for tonight." There was a smile in her voice, I wanted to rip it out of her throat.

"Give me a minute."

"What the fuck Joe?"

"Its work." Im not work, what the fuck. The cheating bastard. Im going to super glue this mans dick to his stomach, or worse just hack it off altogether.

"The hell its work, Joe who was that?" I was pissed, this was up there with PMS and no chocolate.

"Ill explain tomorrow, its a good thing for us. I promise." Not good enough.

"Tell her its Steph your girlfriend or your Cupcake then! And dont give me any bullshit excuses Joseph Morelli or Ill have Ranger kill you and bury you in some field." I realize I used the Ranger card but in a time of need, a woman must remind the jerk shes with that shes wanted by others too.

"Just calm down," WRONG ANSWER! "I know its hard to trust me..."

"Its not that this hasnt been fun, but I have a perp to catch and a boss to fuck." Click.That man has some nerve, I cant believe hed cheat. We just got back together and now this."Wheres MaryLou when I need her."MaryLou has been my bestfriend all of my life, shes the typical Burg girl. She has the three kids, husband, mini-van, and picket fence. Me, I had MaryLou and Rex. Sometimes life sucks. Im not the Burg girl, but Im not the cat lady either, "GGGGGRRRR!"

Shit, whered Irvin go. Fuck, could this day get any worse? I slammed the SUV into park and started on foot, I couldnt have passed him up by much. I went down the alleys, and window shopped a few places for his mug. No dice. I hit one on the cell.

"Yo"

"Hes gone. I cant find him, life sucks, this sucks, men suck."

"Calm down Babe." Thats twice today Ive been told to calm down and all within the last ten minutes."Not everything sucks, trusts me."

"You know just when I was thinking about fucking you, you turn into Morelli." I hung up and threw the phone down, when it failed to meet my need for destruction I stomped the shit out of it. The keypad was no longer there and it was barely together by a few wires. I felt a little better after that. The damn thing still rang though."What the fuck? Nevermind whoever it is can wait."

I bent over to pick up the phone after it had stopped ringing, when I felt a hand plant itself on my ass. I looked back and directly into the redrimmed eyes of James "The Drunk" Irvin. I went Ape Shit on the inside but I calmly stood up. I was really considering my gun.

"Hey baby, looks like you dropped your phone." He leaned in to further examine my chest and the phone.."You cant use that sucker any more." He smiled and I could count three teeth that werent broken, but were blackened. Yuck!

"OOPS! How clumsy of me. Butter fingers." I stepped back to remove his hand from my ass. I smiled and just for small talk asked him his name.

Belch, scratch, spit. "Im Jimmy "The Horse" Irvin." More like the horses ass."Whats your name lil lady." He spat a green and yellow blob of hell directly at my feet, my Doc Martens were in the splatter area and got hit. It took half my will power not to vomit and the rest not to shoot him. "You look like a Lola or a Lula." The image of me in spandex sequince made me smile a little.

"Im Stephanie "The Bombshell" Plum." I smiled sweetly as I thought of the hell this guy was going to go through down at the station. That nurse just so happened to be the Chiefs' daughter and a Lieutenants wife. Sweet revenge."As much as Id love to continue this conversation I have to be somewhere." He looked a little disappointed."Would you like a ride? Im going to Paulas, if youre heading that way!"

Paulas was a strip bar two doors down from the "Cozy Hut," the motel where Irvin was the Overnight Attendant, a fancy name for a desk jockey.

He gave me his own version of the 200 watt smile, I placed it more at like a half watt but who was I to judge. "Baby that sounds like a proposition, and it just so happens Im the owner of the "Cozy Hut," We could get a room after your routine. That cop get up must get the boys up." I shuddered and vomitted in my mouth, he thought I was a stripper, GAG! He offered me a room, double gag! If Ranger were here, hed have shot him and drug him into the cop shop bleeding. I had to have a plan, yay, go me, not.

I lead Irvin to the SUV and beeped the car unlocked. He stopped short and then shot me a look that said, "This cant be yours." I managed to avoid the questioning look when I sorta dropped my keys and gave him another view of my ass. I threw my purse onto the console and gave him a look that said "Get in or get lost." He got in. Two points for me.

I started off at snail pace, trying to work of the nerve to zap this guy. He made a lewd comment about driving wasnt why a woman should be in the car, how she was supposed to be a backseat expert, that made me speed up a little due to the fact he started caressing my arm. Id been brake checked by a prick in a red Cayenne, causing me to slam on the brakes and causing Irvins FTA file, my gun and handcuffs to come flying out from under the seat.SHIT.

"WHAT THE FUCK?"Irvin was suddenly very alert and I was in panic mode."Youre that bounty hunter cunt bitch." Id heard worse before so that didnt bug me. "You dumb whore, what the hell were you gonna do, drive me to the station house? Ill tell them you got me in the car by offering to suck my dick."See, that bugged me. "theyll gwt your ass on being a slut whore ho."

I took a hard left causing Irvins head to smash hard against the window with a sickening thump, the window cracked and there was a little blood. I then again slammed on the brakes and reached around Irvin, who was then slumped in the seat, to get my handcuffs. "Asshole, I fucking hate men."

I was within inches of grabbing them when Irvin sprang to life and grabbed a fist full of hair and bounced my head off of the dashboard until I had stopped fighting."Fuck you bitch." I was bleeding and pissed. He pushed me down by the back of my neck so that my face was grazing the floormats, I grabbed my gun and then bit down on his ankle, he let go of my neck and brought me up by my hair.I fired off a shot between his legs, and had hit something by the howl of pain and anger that had just ripped through the SUV. I was happy that there was still a bullet in the chamber because I had emptied the magazine earlier. "You sonuvabitch. I just got my hair done two days ago. Thats 50 dollars wasted." I put the gun against his temple, I knew it wasnt loaded but he didnt. He yelped when the hot metal hit his skin.

"Youre gonna pay for this slut."He was slurring and I wasnt sure if it was because of the booze or bloodloss.

"Bend down and grab the cuffs, slowly." I wasnt stupid, if he managed to wrestle the gun from me I was screwed, he had 100 pounds on me easily and a good 8 inches. "Cuff yourself to the restraint bar above your head." He did as he was told. I pulled the gun away but still left it trained on his head, as I was backing away my taser fell from my waistband directly onto Irvins lap.

"Fuck" He saw the opportunity present itself and Im almost certain he read the worried look that had passed over my face. I hit the unlock mechanism on the door and placed one foot on the ground outside. Just as he had wrapped his hand around the taser. If I was outside the car, then he couldnt hurt me and I could call back up. I looked around to see if anyone was near enough to flag down and just my luck I had pulled into a abandoned warehouse parking lot. "Shit." I went to pull my foot other foot out of the SUV without realizing that in the struggle it had become tangled in the seatbelt I lost balance and fell. I hit my back hard and felt my head bounce off the concrete. I looked up in time to see Irvin lean over and zap my ankle. "Fuck!"

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I was dredging my way back through the fog of being "volted," when a blast of ice water hit me dead in the face. "Fucking Christ."

I was wet, cold and stiff. To stiff my brain started screaming something was wrong, I tried to move only to discover I had been handcuffed and taped into place, Another blast of ice water hit me. I was shivering, it felt like it was 20 degrees out.

"Oh my, oh my. What have I done?" There was a sickly sweet voice whispering in my ear, filling my nose with cigarettes and my throat with bile. "Then again what have you done besides fuck up a sure thing." I was still a little groggy and my eyes wouldnt come fully open, everything was dark, and try as I might I couldnt fully awaken.

"Huh?"I was a litte dazed, I couldnt remember much with all the fireworks and whistles going off in my head. I had a headache and could barely speak my jaw was aching so badly."What the hell are you doing Irvin?" Everything was slurred and running together, I felt as if Id hit a brick wall after being run over by a dump truck. I was by this time shaking so hard I could feel my teeth rattle.

"Tsk, Tsk, Stephanie dear. Just when I was beginning to place hope in you." A bright beam of light hit me dead in the face. I instantly regretted the little bit I had managed to open my eyes. It seemed as if the brass section of the marching band was going off in my head. "Wrong answer." Wait what?When in the fuck had I been asked a question?

A ball gag was then placed in my mouth and secured rather loosely in place. "So you may breathe my Angel, not so you may scream. Your nose will be draining shortly." something was then placed in my hand, "You may want this for comfort, not that itll do you any good."The fragmented remains of my phone was placed in my hand. "Irvin, murder isnt worth 20 yrs in jail."

I felt a hand run the length of my body and only then had I realized I was naked. I shuddered. "But seeing you like this is." A kiss was placed on my shoulder blade and I started praying someone I knew would find my body first. "Goodnight Sweet Angel." I felt cold metal prongs against the back of my neck and everything had gone black again.

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What felt like days later I had awoken with a start after feeling a short prick in my upper arm, I heard a distant laughter but nothing else. I tried to stay aware of my surrondings, but considering I was still out of it I gave up hoping if death snuck up on me itd be quick and painless. By the thirtieth time of me running the days events through my head I was still zero for thirty on how I ended up here. I started punching random areas on the lack of keypad on my phone hoping Id luck out and dial 911. I had no such luck. I was trying to replace the back of the phone after it had fallen off again when I heard a familiar "Name please." I cried out in joy.

"Whainger, Whainger, Whainger."I thanked God for Boston Cremes and promised to eat one everyday for the rest of my life if this worked, not a bad deal I thought. "Now Connecting."

"Yo" That one word made my heart sing with glee, I had tears streaming down my face I was so happy!

"Whainger, helmmp mwee, hellmmmp mweee!" I prayed he understood.

"Babe?"

"Yhes, frwind mwee."

"Babe, I think we have a bad connection."

"NO!"oh thank God a word I could say clearly.

"Babe"

"GEE, PWEE, ESS"

"What?"

"GEEE PWEE EESS"

"GPS"

"YHES!"

"Got it, be there in five."

Within minutes I could hear the hum of the calvarys engine, it purred like a tiger and for the second time that night I cried.

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While explaining to Ranger my mishaps at apprehending Irvin, being zapped, and then waking up in hell, wed managed to get the tape off. Now, I sat huddled in Rangers' windbreaker, and cap, patiently waiting for Tank to show. The sun was almost fully up and I was doing my best to keep my back to the crowd.

Carl Constanza a cop friend of mine had made his way over to see if I was alright and to check on the situation. Hed also brought me a Boston Creme, he was a man after my own heart. Id made it a point to assure him that I was ok and this had just been an apprehension gone wrong. I gave him Irvins' name and all the information I could remember from the file, also a description of him and the SUV hed gotten away in. Carl then made it a point to tell me that Morelli had asked for the rest of the week off. Ranger took this as a cue to go back to his car to get a bottle of water for me.

"Just so you know Steph, he didnt seem all there." Yeah well, after a night of fucking another woman, Id expect him to be a little withdrawn.

"Thanks Carl, hes being Jerk Numero Uno today." I stuck up my middle finger to represent Morellis one, I laughed a little, but my heart wasnt in it. "The schmuck left me out here for cripes sake." I shrugged and sniffed. I passed it off as a taser mucusie sniff, but I had a feeling he knew I was hurt. "Que Sera Sera right? Whatever will be, will be." In all honesty to hell with Morelli right now, but what did I possibly do to him to deserve him turning his back on me right then? "Shit."

"Dont worry about it Steph, and dont worry about this gettin back to your Ma either." I gave him a look that screamed "Bite Me!" Of course I was worried, I would never in my life hear the end of this. I was lucky if she didnt try ironing me after this. He laughed at the look.

"Steph, I may have dropped Joyces name a few times while telling the other officers what was going on." He smiled, I gawked. "I mean, how could I be 100 sure it wasnt her, besides shes done this kind of thing before when she was in high school."

I smiled from ear to ear and hugged Carl as hard as I possibly could, he pulled me away and smiled back. For the first time, that entire day I felt as if I were gonna be fine. I hugged him again and then offered to buy him Pinos for lunch everyday until he retired. He laughed and walked over to Ranger for a few words, leaving me to my own thoughts.

"Ha Joyce!" I laughed whole heartedly. "The bitch deserves whats coming to her." I smiled again. I was married once to an asshole named Dickie, his name should have given me some idea of what kind of man he was, but I was a shitty judge of character then. I came home early one day to find Dickie fucking Joyce, "Ewww, On my dining room table nonetheless." I said it outloud to no one but myself, I needed to hear someone speak. Id promptly taken a dinner fork that had been discarded on the floor and buried it into Dickies right buttcheek. He howled and she thinking it was a part of the sex squealed like a pig. I gagged and walked out, away from him, her and the whole marriage business. I smiled again thinking of Dickie having to drive around with a pregnancy donut for weeks.

"Babe." Ranger walked over, he looked a little takenaback. "You alright? You look like the lady at the bus station that talks to the pigeons." I smiled and he stopped short."Did the job finally get to you, do I need to send you to the happy-house for a medicated vacation." It was his turn to smile, I got up and hugged him. "Babe?"

"Im fine. Just thinking about Dickie." Ranger looked a little hurt. Then the blank-mask slid into place. "Dont worry the only good memory I have of him is me staking a fork in his asscheek, when I caught him and the whench on my table." I frowned. "I really did like that table."

"Babe, Ill buy you a table, and whatever the hell else you want." I looked into his eyes, I think he was emotional, odd. "Just dont do this again."

"Yeah, like I planned it. Stephanie "The Bombshell" Plum, does it again. Bigger and better this time, come one come all to the freakshow." I kicked a rock. So I was pissy, I had the right to be.

"Steph. Babe. Please." I looked up in time to see hurt, grief and relief fly across his face. The next thing I knew I was tangled in Rangers' arms and lost in one helluva kiss. His hand was running up and down my barelegs, and my hands were just discovering whatever they could. We broke the kiss.

"Mmm, Ranger" The smell of Bulgari filled my lungs and the smell of sex filled the air. "SHIT!" I was naked and I know he knows the smell of sex, and I know that he knows that I know it too. Ranger threw his head back and laughed. Im glad he was smiling. "Jerk!"

"Babe."

I looked up as a black Escalade SUV parked on the otherside of the grove of trees nearest us. "Nice." Not Rangeman issued, I looked up at Ranger for an explanation.

"Its his own ride, its his day off, kinda." Rangeman Merry Men never get the day off, they just get a day away from the office while still on high alert. I shrugged. Tank got outta the car and approached us. He stopped short, he looked over at Ranger and smiled.

"Fuck you guys." I went storming off towards the SUV and stumbled over something, landing plush on top of a very naked, very dead James Irvin. I screamed.

"RANGER, TANK, GOD HELP ME!" I threw up in James's hair and rolled off of him. Ranger pulled me up and away from Irvin and handed me to Tank. Once I was safely snuggled in Tanks arms and my stomach had calmed I looked up and assessed the situation, Ranger approached.

"Babe. Its a note. For you." He looked a little pale and a whole lot of pissed. "It was stuck to his chest, with a hat pin. From the amount of blood he lost Id say it was previous to the bullet between the eyes. Not so sure though if it took place previously to his shit being shot off." I pulled the sticky red note from his hand and so I may read it outloud so Tank could hear aswell.

"I shot his shit off, that was me. My bad!" The look that was mirrored in both of their faces was geniunely priceless.

"Why in the hell would you do that Bomber?" Tank, a man of few words was actually asking a question. Plus, he may be shocked. Its hard to surprise a Merry Man, I should be happy.

"He fucked up my hair, I paid 50 dollars for my curls to be tamed." Thats it, somewhere in the world I just broke a record, I actually got Tanks' mouth to hang open. Ha! chalk that up to making this day better.

"Fuck"

"Babe"

I smiled, although I had a feeling itd be one of my last for the day. I took a shaky breath and began the letter.

"My dearest Angel. As you very well know by now I was not your poor Mr. Irvin. I am but another man trying to win your heart. I thought you should collect your bounty, after all you did to get him. Tell your Mercenary friend I said hello dearest, and he really should pay more attention to you honey. We will surely meet again Stephanie, stay strong for me. All my love, Your Southern Gentleman."

"Fuck Steph, thats some kind of nut job."Tanks' voice rumbled throughout his body, I hadnt realized I had pressed myself so much against him.

"Sorry." I put some space between us just to be enveloped in Rangers arms, "I dont feel so hot."

"Youre staying with me Babe." I nodded. "Tank, I want all the guys at the office before I get there, any excuses and fire their asses. This is priority. Shes my priority." Ranger pulled my chin up and kissed me again."Babe, you need a breathe mint." He smiled."Be safe." With that he threw me into Tanks massive bulk of a bodyguards body and jogged over to the blue and whites.

"Come on Bombshell, lets go."

"Tank?"

"Yeah?"

"Have one of the guys go to Pinos for me, if Im gonna be at Rangers, I need greasy food."

"Whatever you want Bombshell. Ranger will never deny you a thing."

"And Tank.Thanks"

"Get in."

"What about the note, shouldnt I put it back?" Tank gave me a look that told me that was not a great idea.

"Ranger will be doing everything he can to find this guy, you dont want the cops getting in his way. A lot of illegal things will happen to find your "Gentlemen." Somethings you just dont share with a cop." He directed his attention to driving, putting himself in a Ranger like zone.

"Like your heart." I mumbled to myself.

"Excuse Me?" Tank glanced my way.

"Dont you need to call the guys?"

"Gotcha." He pulled out his phone and called Hal. "Get everyone into the office pronto. Stephs got herself a new friend called "The Southern Gentleman" and Ranger wants us all to get acquainted. Everyone." He grinned as Hal spoke."Yeah, and have Evan the new guy stop by Pinos to pick Bombshell up a couple of pies and a few meatball subs." He smiled again. "Yeah she is bitchy when she doesnt have grease."He hit the disconnect, I laughed.

"The bitchiest, yes I am." I thought for a moment. "Why arent I more scared of him Tank?"

"I dont know Steph, why arent you?"

"Hmmm, Ill have to get back to you on that." I yawned, and suddenly felt super sleepy. "Right now I wanna sleep." I started dozing within seconds of the sentence leaving my mouth, five minutes of sleep was better than no sleep.

"Take as long as you want."

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Hey all I know I havent been around in a while, but I just couldnt let this story go to waste. Ill be posting soon. Enjoy! reviews pls!


	4. Chapter 4

"Bomber, heya Bomber." I awoke to a very up close and personal Tank. He was smiling, I was trying my damndest to curl into a little ball and go back to sleep and the wonderfully delicious dream of Ranger only wearing a smile. "Do you know you moan in your sleep Bomber?" See that wasnt incentive for me to wake up, that was incentive for me to disappear into thin air. I hunkered down even more into the seat, trying like hell to keep my ass covered, and vanish. "Alright Evan, hit her with it." Hit who with what? What the hell is he talking about? Then, and only then did it hit me.

"MMMMM, thats better than sex." Pinos, the only thing besides naked Ranger, that I would say is better than sex. God Almighty, thats an amazing way to wake up. Although naked dream Ranger with PInos, was all the more tempting. "MMMMMM." I moaned again.

"Oh God if she keeps doing that, Im gonna have wet dreams tonight!" Im assuming thats Evan the new guy, even now I could tell I didnt like the putz. I felt the hairs stand up on the back of my neck. Ranger. If I knew he was standing there, I knew Tank was already a step ahead of me, but apparently Evan was new to the game, and couldnt sense Batman yet. "Did you hear the way she whimpered Pinos, I could only wish that was my name." He snickered, I found it funny that he had no clue he was going to die.

"Shit" That was a very tense Tank that had just taken a very big step back, the coward. The asshole Evan, took that as a sign to take another step towards me with the bag. I was no longer hungry, actually I felt dirtier now then I did while I was duct taped to the vomit covered merry-go-round..

"EWWW, get the hell away from me, you goat fucking, cocksucking asshole!" I spat the words at him as if he were the Devil incarnate, and when the words left my mouth, I spat at his feet for good measure. He stepped back leering at me. Asshole.

"Feisty."

"You just made me throw up in my mouth."

"What, you think you can do better than me with hair like that? I now realized, Tank wasnt a coward, he just didnt want to get blood on his clothes when Ranger shot this scumbag.

"In my fucking defense, not that it matters much, I havent really had time to shower yet after my night of hell and shit. So excuse the fuck outta me if my hair isnt up to your lowbrow standards. Now please do me a favor, either die or slither your nasty bottom feeding ass away from me." I was pissed, I was beyond pissed, this is going without sugar and sex for a year pissed. This man is lucky I wasnt wearing boots, because he wouldnt be able to identify his nuts after I got through with them.

"Fuck you cunt." Eh, I can live with the word cunt, its not that bad. I couldnt live with the way he leaned in when he said it. This guy just ooozed asshole.

"I wouldnt entertain the idea. Go to hell." This time, I spit dead in his face. If looks could kill, Id be more than dead, Id be sleeping with Satan. He and Tank both took a giant step forward, I jumped out of the truck and met them head on. Fuck this guy, fuck guys in general. If he wanted to mess with his first Jersey girl, who am I not to give him the full pissed off Rhino-mode package. my mother scared me more than this schmuck. "What Evan, not man enough to do anything, whatd you lose your balls to your last girl. Did she cheat on you with another girl, is that why you have no balls, or did your Mama run off with the milkman and leave you with a drunken daddy, that didnt teach you shit bout how to treat a lady.." For all I knew he could be married to a wonderful woman, and his parents could be who they modeled the Cleavers after. My mind still screamed shoot him though.

He charged towards me. I stood my ground and waited.

"Get the fuck away from Steph!" He grabbed Evan by his shirt and tossed him back a few feet. So, Tank does get upset. Wow, this is the most reaction Ive seen from Tank ever, he wasnt even this pissed when his leg was broken by my douchebag FTA.

"Not until I have that slut screaming my name, the fucking whore. Ill show her exactly what type of man I am. I wanna hear the bitch beg."

I mustve blinked because the next thing I knew Evan was pinned against the car by Ranger, a wicked looking knife pressed in his neck and a gleam in Rangers eye that just begged Evan to say another word. Ranger never loses his cool, much less threatens one of his men. This has trouble not just written, but carved through-out it. Fuck.

"Let him go Boss, he aint worth the blood on your blade." By this time I heard the elevator ding open and watched as a very cramped looking Hal, Vince,Cal, Hector and Lester came spilling out. Practically running to get to Ranger, Tank and I. Funny how my first thought was, "That had to of exceeded the weight limit." Blame it on my easily distracted mind, but hell if you wouldve seen them all fall out, you wouldve thought the same thing also.

"Ranger." A collective call of his name from his men, did nothing to deter him.

"Ranger." I barely breathed the word, Im not even certain that I said it allowed, but Ranger caught it. By some chance it couldve been his damn ESP but I had the feeling he heard me. He didnt move, he didnt breathe, he just kept staring at him, and my God Evan held his stare. Im not certain it was stupidity or the willingness and acceptance that he was going to die, yet Evan never backed down.

"If you ever in your life, breathe her name, if it passes your lips in conversation even slightly I will without a doubt slice you open from ear to end. Do you understand me?" I held my breath as Evan nodded slightly. Ranger threw him into Tank and grabbed me and crushed me to his chest. "Babe." That one word said everything that hadnt been said before. It screamed loved and fear, I did nothing but nod and cry.

"Who the hell was that asshole?"

"Not one of mine, assigned here by a higher up. I dont like him, hes a fucking degenerate." Leave it to Ranger to insult the guy with a four-syllable word, I had to smile.

Lester cleared his throat a few times trying to catch out attention.

"Santos?" 

"I kinda figured she wouldnt want to eat this garbage anymore, wanted to know if she wanted anything else. Im heading out to pick up an FTA thats passed out at Shortys."

A whole lotta The Cure I thought, right about now all I wanted was to get fall down, silly, drunk. Ranger did his ESP thing again, damn ESP and shook his head no at me. "You need a clear head these next few days Babe, no can do."

"Fiddlesticks." I got an eyebrow raise from Batman, and a full on bark of laughter from Lester. If they werent both so sexy and well if I still werent unarmed Id of shot them. "Im trying to cut back on my cursing thank you."

"Babe."

"Steph, we heard you in the COM room upstairs, if thats cutting back then my oh my what a mouth you have." I started seeing black dots as the sickly sweet voice from last night repeated itself in my head "Oh my, Oh my, what have I done. I lost my cookies, and slid to the ground, wanting to know where my legs had gone. My last concscience thought was "Rangers' gonna be pissed, I upchuckd on his windbreaker."

I floated in a limbo for what felt like ages, and last nights events came crashing back, being naked, and that damn hand running up and down my back, the suffocating feeling of failure and hopelessness. Fighting for conscienceness and clarity. Ranger. Funny how when I thought I would die, the man that I regretted not seeing and saying I love you too was Ranger and not Joe. Ranger.

"Babe?"

Ranger.

"Babe??"

"UGNN" my mouth tasted like copper, that couldnt be good. "Ranger?"

"Alright Ranger, lets sit her up so I can take care of that gash." Bobby. I smiled, seems like he was always taking care me. All of my cuts and bruises, hes a good man.

"Thanks Bobby." Again.

"No problemo Poppet, just dont do this again, smelling salts dont come cheap ya know." Poppet! Bobby has been calling me Poppet since he had "Bombshell Duty" a few weeks back. We had ended up over at Mooners house, and had watched black and white flicks for 6 hours. Throughout the one, this curly haired, big blue eyed girl kept running around getting into trouble. Poppet was her name, and apparently my new nickname. It works, its sweet, and I like it a helluva lot more than "Bomber."

Ranger cleared his throat, he didnt look very pleased with the intimate nickname.

"You ok Babe?"

"Yeah, Im sorry I puked on your jacket." Sorry, Im an idiot and cant hold my own, sorry I cant tell you I love you, Sorry I still look a wreck. I was just sorry today.

"Ill buy another, want to tell me why you fainted?"

"Ill tell everyone at the meeting, how long do we have?" I needed a shower, I needed a nap, I needed my two favorite men; Ben and Jerry.

"ETA is 20 minutes on Les, so half an hour."

WHAT? "EEEP, thats no time to get my hair washed and styled, are you kidding me? Let me stand, I need to go to your place and get a shower in! Jesus Ranger, do you know nothing about women?" Im going to strangle this man, hes laughing at me. LAUGHING at a pissed half-naked woman. This man has guts. I was already half running, half limping to the elevator, my ass and left leg were numb and I had to drag my leg behind me. Bobby chuckled caught up with me and picked me up to help me get there faster. I believe I love this man, or he just feared Id show up to the meeting with scary hair and cause all of the men to faint. Thats a case of salts atleast.

Brown, DOWN" Ranger growled the words. That cant be good, then again a half naked me with any man cant be good in Rangers book. Hehehe, Brown down, it rhymes.

He set me down with a wink and a smile. "Aye Aye Captain." He walked into the staircase, gigling like a schoolgirl. Thanks Bobby for leaving me with a pissy Ranger, although he hasnt scrambled the cameras yet, so he wont try to kill me. Right?

"Babe, You going to call the elevator?" Shit, he was coming up with me. I swallowed hard and concentrated on breathing. The elevator doors opened, and Ranger walked in. "You getting on?" Yep, just as soon as my legs started to work again. He pulled me inside and straight into his chest, molding me to him. "Babe." He whispered into my hair. I choked on the feelings creeping up my throat from my heart, it hurts to be loved and to love, no one ever tells you that. He was hurting, and I knew it was all my fault.

"Ranger? Can I ask you something?" Love me forever, marry me, kiss me, dont ever let me go?

"Anything, I cant promise I can answer though." The doors opened at seven and we inched our way out, not wanting to move and break the contact that we shared. Once we were safely inside, I turned slightly to face him. I couldnt say any of it. I froze.

"Stay with me while I shower, I need your company." PLEASE!!! The need I feel for you is so immense it scares me, Dont leave me. The emotions ran across my face as they ran across my mind, he read everyone of them. His eyes darkened and he pulled me tighter to him.

"Always." It was a promise, it was a commitment, its what we both needed. He kissed me lightly, gently, and smiled. "Babe, you need a breathe mint." Jerk. I smiled. He pushed me towards the bathroom telling me I had twenty seven minutes to get ready. I screamed and ran. A girl has to have priorities in life. Mascara and cute hair are some of mine. Half an hour later I emerged, scrubbed, polished, and clean. My hair was cute, wet and curly and my mascara was perfect. Four power coats, and a smudge of eye liner for pop, I was ready for anything.."Ready?"

"As Ill ever be, lets get this over with." I felt better than I thought I could, I was sapping all of Rangers energy and faith from him, but it felt good to be supported.

"Evan will be there." Shit. Ewww. Gag!

"Give me a minute." I ran back to Rangers closet and exchanged my sweater, slacks and heels for my SWAT gear. My black steel toed CATS, cargos, and tee. I suddenly felt like being in ass-kicking gear, Evan has no idea whats coming to him if he screws with me again.

Ranger smiled his 1000 watt, that takes my breath away smile. "Babe."

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THANKS ALL FOR THE REVIEWS. I wanted to showcase Evan in this chapter because like it or not he plays a key point. I dont like it, lol, but hes needed. The meeting is the next chapter, which will be up within the next few days. Thanks again, and if anyone can help me figure out why my punct doesnt transfer, itd be greatly appreciated.-Eva Marie.


	5. Chapter 5

A Gentlemans insight.

"You insolent, unappreciative dog! How could youve been so stupid as to trust her with her backgroumd? Why give her more than she can handle at once? Why didnt you trust your instincts? Why not just invite the whole damn calvary in to guard her as well?" With that Ranger fellow around her though, she may as well have. He is a fighter and he cares for her; that either makes him extremely protective or completely unguarded around her, although niether could be bode well for the Gentleman.

"Whatre we going to do sir? We dont have much time."

"Do you think I am unaware of the time? I know that the events of today pushed us back farther than what I wouldve liked. We wouldve had more time if you hadnt acted like some needy spoiled child. What exactly did you get this experience? What worldly knowledge did you walk away with? If it wasnt the answer to lifes question, or a way to get her then youve done nothing but set us back." More than that, youve proven that you cannot be trusted passed a certain point, and are now indispensible. Pity really, things couldve progressed so well for the three of us. Your worth is not worth your life.

"Id like to get back beofre I am missed, theres bound to be talk sir. May I leave?"

"Yes, but take this with you, deliver it on your way. Its imparative that this be recieved by Stephanie."

"Sir?"

"What is it, speak up! This is no time for you to lose your voice."

"Shes at Haywood sir. How am I to infiltrate and make contact with the subject. Shes surely to be armed and or guarded."

"Find a way, I dont care if you walk it in there strapped to a bomb attatched to your chest. You make sure she gets it. If you fail, then youve failed me. You wouldnt want to disappoint me, now would you?

"No sir, not at all."

"Thus far youve done just that." A wince and grimace from the peasent, itll have to do rather than the blood curdling screams Id rather hear expelled from their lungs. The response of a girl, did I expect anything less though? Look at what stands before me, a docile, impodent, unloved weakling. "I wouldnt want to regret taking you in all those years ago, and wasting all of what I have on you. Now go!"

"Yes, sir! Right away, I will not fail or disappoint."

Another pathetic, hapless speciman. Lacks all the qualities needed to be anything like Stephanie. Strong, determined, strong willed, and able. Im given something just short of hopeless. A body with no soul, no will to live, just a will to exist.

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"I will not disappoint Father, I will not give that bitch the satisfaction of knowing she has wedged he and I farther apart. If it had been up to me

we wouldve just taken her last night, but Father has plans. He wants everything to be perfect when she arrives, and weve yet to get everything in place. Perfect. What has he ever made absolutely perfect for me? Why does that sniveling cunt get all of his love, am I not now his child? Am I no better than a dog to him. Ill always get scraps. Scraps of love and attention, scraps of need and want, just scraps. The bitch."

Turning the car over, was easy, willing myself to drive was damn near impossible. I would much rather of smashed my fist through the windshield. Anger management hadnt helped yet, I need a new outlet. I need my own gun range. I need a distraction. I need a body to play with. I discreetly slip into traffic and away from The Home, I need to formulate a plan, I need an in at Haywood. I need a miracle. First, I need gas, otherwise Ill break down somewhere, and that will not go over well with anyone. I shouldve never let myself drive this long on such a small amount, I need to stay on top of things. Father is right, I need to think things through more, why keep proving him right that I am incapable. Why be exactly what he expects of me. I should want to be more, I should want to do better.

"$2.56 a gallon, thats about as good as its going to get." Pulling in I make a quick sweep of my surroundings; a blue Ford Escape, two young white females early twenties, no threat detected. A green Mercedes, black male Mid forties early fifties, no threat detected. Black Escalade, Male mid twenties, early thirties, keeping visuals on all other cars and plates. Threat level unsure, male not making eye contact with anyone, has himself hidden in the shadows allowed by his car. Smells like a Rangeman or Ex-Ops, either way not the way I planned on continuing my day. The male leans forward into the light available. Lester, beautiful. Opportunity to deliver the package, make Father proud and get in close with the enemy.

He gets outta the car and walks inside, I take the chance and sprint across the pavement. Breathe, think, dont take a chance, breathe, think, dont take a chance. Its my mantra, its what I live for, its my only chance on not getting shot by the goon in black. I crouch behind the pump, opposite the Escalade. Taking a peek inside I see he has an FTA in custody and apparently unconscience. I had to grin at this reminded me of Steph, Cuffed to the bar as we drove her to the park. The string of drool from her mouth, the way her hair was terrifiying, but my favorite part was how she whimpered. Scared and calling out for him, always a whore. I placed the manilla envelope on the windshield, and sprinted back to my car and drove out. As I exited Lester had approached his vehicle, he saw the package, pulled his gun, and swept the perimeter. I smiled, always at work.

The next gas station is 10 miles out and Im almost positive I wont make it. "Damn, just my luck." My car starts stalling and jumping. The more gas I give it the more it stalls and jumps. Looks like Im going to have to walk. Not exactly my idea of a workout, its more along the lines of dragging women kickiing and screaming around The Funhouse, that takes muscle and brain. Plus, hell it was fun. Father wont be happy that Im late to the meeting, but hell understand, hell be so proud that I delivered the package. He may actually let me bring someone home tonight. Maybe the waiter at Rossinis or the checkout girl at the 7-11. This day cant get much better. I may just have a permagrin by the end of today.

Lesters SUV flew right past me as if the hounds of hell themselves were chasing him. He ran the red light, causing many people to slam on their brakes, even a few cars clipped one another. Amazing what a little fear can make people do and disregard, like their own safety for that of the others around them. Lester, always the knight in shining armor, but never the Savior.

A pretty little redhead pulls along the side of me. "Need a ride hun?" I lied, this day just got a whole helluva lot better.

"Sure, just need a lift to the BP." Poor pitiful girl, she has no idea whats coming to her. I feel bad for taking advantage of her trust, but after seeing she has the same blue eyes as that bitch, all of the doubt and regret fades away.

"Im Amy, whats your name?" She flashed a pretty smile, I smiled back I couldnt help it, it was contagious. Besides she should atleast be happy up until her last few moments. Why not atleast appease her a litlle.

"Some people call me Alex." She giggled, what was so funny about that statement Ill never know. Most girls laughed though.

"What do others call you beautiful?" Those damn blue eyes were piercing, almost hypnotizing, she was trying to put me under a spell, just like that whore has over Father.

"Surprising."

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What am I to do with such a spontaneous brat? A spoiled sniveling child. A whining bastard. A cunt if there ever was a living breathing definition to the word. Think before you bring someone to The Home, always use the back entrance, drug, tase, tape,or tie them up first. A monkey could learn most of these actions, theyre all repetitive nonsense. What makes this one not want to learn, not grasp the simple concept. I do not say these things to hear myself speak, its for survival, for the idealism of being untraceable. I do not tolerate sloppy, I do not tolerate ignorance, and I do not tolerate the carlessness others have for what I have worked so hard for. To be a senseless twit, must truelly be wonderful.

"Shut that Harlet up, or I will.You should not allow her to cry, ascert yourself, make her obey you." To bring a whore home in broad daylight is something I will have to correct.

Such a waste of a pretty face also, she was rather beautiful. Instead of biding time with the girl though and appreciating her beauty, making her screams Mozart and her blood a personal scent to remember, they are wasted for a quick rush fuck and unorganized kill. To take no pride in a kill is unbelievable. To give yourself no options for a signature is wasteful. To not allow yourself the pleasure and enjoyment of taking your time is squanderess. "We must correct such problems."

"Father?"

"What is it child? Why are you not with the girl?" DIsgust and bile built in my throat, looking how out of breathe and dishevled this excuse for a being was. Not even skilled enough to make the kill in a quick effeciant matter, always wanting to play first.

"Shes unconscience father. She hasnt moved in the last few minutes, I made certain before I came up." She was crying moments before, lying adolescent.

"I would like to keep her around for the rest of the week, atleast a few more days. Id like to have soem more fun with her." Atleast patience would be taught if I agreed, maybe I could use the girl as an example. Maybe then wil I be able to count on my burden for more than an messanger and servant.

"You have my..." The alarm screamed its warning that the back door had been breached. "The girl, you idiot." My word, what wou;d this do to the plan. "Can she identify you in any way whatsoever?"

"No sir, I was in disguise almost constantly."

"Let her go, you cannot tell one house from another in this neighborhood. Dump the truck, wipe it down, torch it. PIck up another at the shore, do you understand me?" I was infuriated, but it would do no good to show it, why risk more nervousness than what was needed. We certainly did not need Alex to screw this up because of nervousness.

"Yes sir, Ill go now."

"No, you will wait. let her get away from the neighborhood, and then leave. Count to 100, then walk to the garage and grab all that youll need. Do you understand me?" Again a nod. "Count." I walked from the room fuming. There was no way that this could be anything but a problem. Minutes later I heard the garage door open as Alex left to do as I had asked.

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"How could I have been so stupid? FUCK!!!!" I was a screw up, I needed to prove myself, I acted like a girl back there, I shouldve used my head. I shouldve thought things through. I could have tied her up or anything equal to it.

"Whoop Whoop." The unmistakeable sound of a siren, just my luck. A fucking cop, not a uniform though, which means no camera. I reached under my vest and pulled my gun. As soon as there was a body visable I squeezed the trigger. "Clack. Clack Clack." Three shots, an effecient kill. I sped away knowing that I may notve gotten the girl today, but I got a fucking cop. The day had its advantages.

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"This is Officer Joe Morelli, Ive been shot. Two the the vest, one to the neck, bleeding out. Route 1, and blacking out hurry." Thats all the scanner allowed me to hear, in Trenton if an officer was shot they automatically chaged channels, so not to worry the other officers. This had Alex written all over it. Rt 1, was the main and busiest route from The Home. Alex must be eliminated if I was correct, this was no longer acceptable. Such a waste of a beautiful face though, such a pity, many men and women would kill for Alexs looks. A beautiful tragedy indeed..


End file.
